Wednesday, September 2, 2009

When to forgive?

Sometimes, I am not sure whether or how to forgive. I feel confused.
I ask myself:

a. Jesus (What would Jesus do?) It's been suggested that we ask this when confused about how to proceed. Jesus was not always Mr. Kindness and forgiveness. He kicked over the tables of the moneychangers. He cursed a tree that wouldn't flower for him. So how do we know when to forgive and when to start kicking? (I had Sissy acting like Jesus in my kids' book, Frog Haven!)

b. Buddha (What would Buddha do?) Imperturbability? I can only FAKE IT! I can "Act as if." I can pretend. But inside is a maelstrom. It rears its ugly head when my guard is down. How can I calm the maelstrom inside? (Prayer helps).

5 comments:

Great Grandma Lin said...

interesting question-think you need to calm yourself first and truly work through your emotion before forgiveness can come. The savior knew himself and why he was here, sometimes we forget.

Pauline said...

Isn't forgiveness more a letting go than a doing? I've been away from formal religion for ages but I've learned that when I let go, stop thinking about the "wrong" done me and replace my thoughts with those of all that is good in my life, forgiveness makes its own path in my heart.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Letting go for me has to be a conscious act, even if great time has passed--unless, of course, I truly forget.

And, as a conscious act, it is a doing of sorts. Maybe I am doing it wrong.

Currently, someone has wronged me and not apologized and I am trying to let go of my hurt, feelings of betrayal, and anger. Prayer and mediation do help.

Unknown said...

Forgiveness can be very difficult. I've gotten better as I've aged but it takes repeated conversations with myself to come to a place I can even decide which road to take. I know taking the grudge-holding path is bad for everyone, but it sometimes seems like the easiest road to take. Ultimately it is not.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I do not want to be the kind of person who holds a grudge or worse yet, retaliates or seeks revenge.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.

But when I am angry, I notice that I want to make little retaliatory remarks or actions. It is hard to restrain myself and takes great care. When I am tired, it is even harder.